To Growth and Beyond

Here I am, another post within a month talking about my career. I know, I know, probably one of the most redundant posts ever in the history of posts, but it’s something I have been reflecting a lot on lately. It’s probably something I’m really going to be really going to be reflecting a lot on over the next few months since I (sigh) decided to go back to my other other career – student. Yes, I enrolled (reluctantly but happily) to a Master of Science in Higher Education program at Capella University with a concentration in Adult Education. More on that in a few.

This week was a rough one for me at work, right? Like, you know how you can love what you do, but not necessarily where you are? Okay, not so much where I am, but the department in particular I work with? It’s not even the department. It’s a handful of people. And by people, I mean the ones that seem to get away with things like calling in and leaving things to fall on you. Now, anyone who knows me knows I don’t mind working, right? Like, seriously. I like busy work. It keeps my mind off of a lot of things and makes my day go by. At the same time, it becomes annoying when stuff is expected more of you than of others, right? Extra.

Anyway, back to why I was originally writing the post. I never really saw myself working in healthcare, especially internal medicine. But the more I work in it, the more I find myself loving healthcare as a whole. Sure, I am having some frustrating moments. But I am at peace with being in this field. I enjoy working with my doctor and her patients. She makes it known what she wants; she lets me have input on some things; and, if I have questions, she doesn’t belittle me for asking them. It’s a great relationship. And you know what I love about her patients? They’re human. What I mean is, they come in there, they keep it real with me, and I keep it real with me. There’s no qualms, no misunderstandings. If there is something that needs to be figured out, we will figure it out together. Sometimes it’s a little annoying, but I thoroughly enjoy doing what I can for them.

I recently put in for a surgical technology apprenticeship at work and had a phone interview. I feel it really intertwines with my experience as a phlebotomist and internal medicine medical assistant because there is something about exploring the inner workings of the human body that is fascinating. Y’all, I have never been this excited about work or eagerly look forward to adding on more certifications in my life. Even if the apprenticeship doesn’t work out, I’m just optimistic about the future.

I am reading about appreciative inquiry in class. Appreciative Inquiry is “the study of what gives life to human systems when they function at their best. This approach to personal change and organization change is based on the assumption that questions and dialogue about strengths, successes, values, hopes, and dreams are themselves transformational. In short, Appreciative Inquiry suggests that human organizing and change at its best is a relational process of inquiry, grounded in affirmation and appreciation (Whitney et al).” In reading the first chapter of The Power of Appreciative Inquiry, it made me realize that, even though I love what I do, being inquisitive and intuitive should always be a part of what I do and who I am. Why am I doing what I am doing? Who am I doing it for? Where do I see myself going? Do I really want to do this for the rest of my life or the next 1-2 years?

Being mindful of these questions has been helping me put things in perspective, you know? Especially with trying to figure out if I really want to pursue higher education versus pursue maybe a certification or, say, learn a language on my own. The Appreciative Inquiry is helpful for me as well as the doctor and patients I work with because there are answers to questions out there that may need different viewpoints or even different ways to be explained. The end goal is primarily patient education. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to do that as a medical assistant per se, but hopefully I’ll be able to do that in a human services/adult education capacity. Eventually I would also like to tie in career counseling or training development, but, you know, we’ll see how that goes.

Reference:

Whitney, Diana D. and Trosten-Bloom, Amanda. (2010). The Power of Appreciative Inquiry: A Practical Guide to Positive Change Account. Accessed September 13, 2022 from EBSCO Publishing eBook Coollection via Capella University, s9174717.main.ehost

KUUMBA!

December 31

Kuumba (Creativity): to do always as much as we can, in the way we can, in order to leave our community more beautiful and beneficial than we inherited it.

With Ujamaa, I talked about education. Education, in the black community, has been a long road. From the ban of educating us during slavery to the landmark 1954 Supreme Court decision in Brown v. Board of Education, which stated that “separate but equal” was unconstitutional. Sixty years later, can we truly say that schools are equal? Considering property taxes can vary one block to the next, how can one community assure that they get more than adequate funding for better buildings, books relevant to the times as well as more diverse texts/being culturally aware, and more program options and teacher retention? Creatively speaking, we have to do more in our schools. Local artists can teach classes once a month or more, depending on their availability. We can have or create safe places in the community where kids can come together to tutor, to create their own styles of art, or just to have a positive place to play. Taking buildings and allowing people in the community to work on its upkeep can also be a good thing. Churches can help the community spearhead things like entrepreneurism and financial education by offering brown bag lunches and inviting business owners and financial consultants to speak in forums. What I enjoyed about my Head Start was that our teachers got us involved with everything, regardless of what was immediately available supplies-wise. Sometimes you have to think outside of the box to get the results and change you want.

One thing also missing in many black communities are actual stores, particularly those with decent-priced fresh produce and nutritious options, otherwise known as food deserts. I know there are community activists from New York to New Orleans that are actively starting community gardens and fresh food stores/farmers markets in poorer areas. I’m most certain that this has gradually changed the mindset of some in the area, knowing that they have something of their own to work on, nourish, and watch flourish for their benefit.

Being that the sixth day of Kwanzaa is about creativity, let us be ever mindful of the vibes we bring to the table in the name of creating better spaces for our lives and our neighbors’ lives. The strength of a community and the bettering of itself via solutions to do and be better are a beautiful thing. Sometimes you have to think outside of the box to get the results and change you want.

(December 30: Nia (Purpose): “to make our collective vocation the building and developing of our community in order to restore our people to their traditional greatness.” Finding what we are good at and using it to better ourselves and others, empowering and emboldening us to be better.)

Today is the fifth day of Kwanzaa, Nia (purpose). A time to reflect on making ourselves greater, one community at a time. Built upon unity, self-determination, collective work and responsibility, and cooperative economics, purpose calls us to remember from where we have come: royalty, strength, survivors, fighters.

One way we can “restore our people to their traditional greatness” is education. Education is a source of empowerment, knowledge, and uplifting. Whether that education is earned in brick and mortar, at home, or on the streets, instruction under the right people can propel people to greatness. The hope of education is that individuals will become independent, critical and analytical thinkers, promoters of empowerment for each other and the underserved, and that people will realize the true meaning of the investment education can be on one’s life.

May we forever find our purpose, and encourage others to find theirs. To greatness!

Habari gani?

(December 29: Ujamaa (Cooperative Economics): “to build and maintain our own stores, shops and other businesses and to profit from them together.” – shop amongst ourselves, grow ourselves.)

(December 28: Ujima (collective work and responsibility): to build and maintain our community together and make our brother’s and sister’s problems our problems and to solve them together) – “I am my brother’s/sister’s keeper.” “Each one, teach one.”

(December 27: Kujichagulia (self-determination): to define ourselves, name ourselves, create for ourselves and speak for ourselves) – Let’s come together and define who we are, what we answer to, and speak out against things that are against growing us as a people.

(December 26: Umoja (unity): to strive for and maintain unity in the family, community, nation and race) – We are a nation, a people strong and regal! Let us come together in love and purpose!

One love.
Power to (our) people.

Habari gani?

*NOTE* Principles definitions taken from The Official Kwanzaa Website,
http://www.officialkwanzaawebsite.org/index.shtml

Kwanzaa Principles

Kwanzaa Principles
By Dr. Maulana Karenga
http://www.officialkwanzaawebsite.org/index.shtml

Umoja (unity): to strive for and maintain unity in the family, community, nation and race

Kujichagulia (self-determination): to define ourselves, name ourselves, create for ourselves and speak for ourselves

Ujima (collective work and responsibility): to build and maintain our community together and make our brother’s and sister’s problems our problems and to solve them together

Ujamaa (cooperative economics); to build and maintain our own stores, shops and other businesses and to profit from them together

Nia (purpose): to make our collective vocation the building and developing of our community in order to restore our people to their traditional greatness

Kuumba (creativity): to do always as much as we can, in the way we can, in order to leave our community more beautiful and beneficial than we inherited it

Imani (faith): to believe with all our heart in our people, our parents, our teachers, our leaders and the righteousness and victory of our struggle

Brown Black and Lovely

BROWN BLACK AND LOVELY

Walking past a mirror, I catch a glimpse of something I fell in love with

Better yet, a glimpse of someONE I fell in love with

A self I fell in love with as a child that carries over today

Chocolatey brown goodness, ebony sweet as brownies fudged

Thick lips, soft and made for kissing, talking sweet everythings in your ear and your life

The big brown eyes you can easily become enamored with, intriguingly subtle

And that nose, lovely how it is wide, to take in the sweet smells of self-love!

And the ‘fro puff! Geeked! Kinked by puffy, at the corner of black and wavy, it’s rockin’

Beyond shapely, maybe portly, and pigeon-toed – yep, I’m fluff-ily walking around J

Rocking the fist, power to self and the people

The mean-mugging-ness that has made me me has also made me peculiar

Hard shell, soft inside

Dignity is within me, no matter how much they try to take it out of and from me

All the makings of me, this beautiful brown gal from the Dirty Dirty

Highly attracted to the beauty of brown and lovely

In love with myself and shades of my people all across the globe

From The Congo to India, Haiti to The Bronx

The heart of the matter is that I am beautiful, I am a reflection of beauty, and so are you

My heart bleeds love, every time I see lovely shades of us on TV, in photos, in person

Something about it makes my heart flutter, skip a beat, just want to run and give myself a hug

For, in you, I see myself – beauty, love, pride, creativity

Brown black and lovely, unite

I See You

I SEE YOU

Long strides in your walk, rainbows and lightning and thunder clash as you speed by
Eyes brighter than stars and the noonday sun
Hope ablaze like the burning bush
You are awesomeness defined
People wonder why you’re so positive
Why it seems like you have it going on, even when you have your days
How you make it through your struggles
Who dares to question your strength?
Do they not know who you are?
Do they not know whose blood runs through your veins?
You are the stuff legends are made of!
You, friend, are the child of the Most High
The sons and daughters of kings and queens
Of kingdoms far and wide
The knowledge of the Nile spread from nation to nation
The hope of those lynched
The testament that Amistad and Till bore
You are the hard work of Selma and Birmingham
The apple of Harriet’s eyes
You are your hopes and fears, your anxieties and your calmness
You are beauty and love
You are strength and courage
I see you!
Stay in you and in blessings!

Shrugs

I don’t even know how to feel about what others are feeling sometimes, but I will live, I suppose
All I know is that I’m friendly, I’m me, I love to read, and I’m dark.
Heck, I’m not even that dark. But I guess I’m a tad dark for some people’s likings
How and why does my darkness offend you?
That makes me sad.
And what do I tell the kids, and their kids, about their skin – a beautifully perfect hue of the prettiest shade of brown?
That, no matter how dignified becoming and smart you know you are, you’re not liked, not because of something you have done on purpose, but because someone’s label has made you undesirable or repulsed.
And it’s more of their loss, really, to have missed out on loyalty, and camaraderie, deep conversation and gentle spirits that are genuine and righteously seek uplifting and empowerment.
I can teach them that beauty is in all shades. Not only that, it lies in a person’s spirit, especially when they’re in their purpose.
Grow each other, babies.
That’s my life lesson, no matter how turned off some may be with me or life.
Shrugs and carries out

Tuesday Take 2 at 10

Death is a natural part of life
Even in the afterlife
Sometimes I wonder why the afterlife doesn’t leave us alone
But, if left unchecked, to our own devices,
Could we really survive?
Common said “one day it will all make sense.”
I can only wonder when
If it will ever set in
No one is alone, or an island
But it sure feels isolated
World seems cold, distant
Yet im drawn to it
Until it is our time to go,
Realize, we are each others keeper
Our own keeper
Upkeeping our community will strengthen us
And may we keep from the stench of defiling ourselves because of greed
Find the need to serve someone
Fulfilling a more divine purpose
Before the afterlife seeks us.

Hungry

I’m hungry.
Physically.
With no money.
Handouts may be an option, but there’s pride, and then the judgment and bureaucracy.
Even if I could make groceries, I have nowhere to cook it.
No lights, behind on gas, or no roof.
The water is unclean, or off, but I’m thirsty.
I am not sure what to tell the children when they ask what’s for dinner.
I’m frowned upon because of the way I’m perceived, for being poor and hungry.
I’m hungry.
I’m willing to work, but it doesn’t seem like it is working out for me.
I’ve done what I was asked to do:
I’m educated, the vet who served his country, but came home and home knew me not, learned a trade and crafty and good in what I so.
I have drive to work, but, I’m either not qualified or too qualified. “Good luck with your future endeavors,” they tell me.
I sigh.
That doesn’t get me closer to where I see myself or my family being.
I, too, have goals and ideals, dreams of purpose swirling in my head.
So why am I hungry, if I’ve done and been what society said I should so?
I’m a fighter, no doubt, but has the hunger subsided, even though the physical hunger cries out?
I’m more hungry now, because I dream more for them than for me.
That’s hunger.
And that’s not to be pitied.

Tuesday FreeFlow (9.30.14)

Pieces.

Life today is a bunch of puzzle pieces, coming together bit by bit

I may be fairly young and graying in some areas, it’s the learning process…of some sort.

Eh, such is life.

It’s also thighs and breasts, 100% white meat nuggets…in black.

Genuine parts, hair and all.

My hair is “good,” or so I’ve been told.

But it doesn’t seem as good and stylish as my sister’s coarser hair.

All the same. I’m me, she she.

I think too much, especially about the innocent gone bad,

For what? What are you trying to prove?

My business, not mine. Maybe.

Ooh, butterflies! I like butterflies…and sunflowers, and gumbo, and pearls.

Now that I have my attention,

I’m gone.

#Free

I Mourn/Morn

I MOURN/MORN

I mourn for the spirit that is stifled under years of bitterness, self-defeat, and anger: they seem to not let the sunshine in.

I mourn for the talent unrealized: in not knowing that we all have something positive to offer the world, we deprive God, ourselves, and others of the joy in sharing things we love and cherish.

I mourn those who are content in ignorance and bias: to fail to want to know the awesomeness of someone or something because of stereotypes or preconceived notions baffles me.

I mourn those who keep up mess to make themselves look and feel better: it just means their lives are empty and lonely.

I mourn those who aren’t able to let go of the past: Be able to forgive, always remember so as to not repeat the past, but don’t let the memory/memories of what happened affect your b(right) now and brighter tomorrows.

But I morn those who seek to uplift others, who seek joy and not misery, prayerful and not careless, faithful to God and not to meaningless travesties.

I morn inner-beauty, respect, gentle caresses, and butterfly kisses.

I morn true love and humility: not because I’m corny or wishful, but because it means I’m hopeful.

Let go of the troubles this life will ofer, and live for this day!

And that’s the beauty of mornings, not mourn-ings.